He who covers over an offense promotes love,

but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Prov 17:9

A friend loves at all times,

and a brother is born for adversity. Prov 17:17

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,

or like vinegar poured on soda,

is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. Prov 25:20

Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

but an enemy multiplies kisses. Prov 27:6

As iron sharpens iron,

so one man sharpens another. Prov 27:17

The proverbs in this study give advice on friendship—its maintenance, how it is strengthened or weakened, and the special value of a friend. This wisdom is particularly valuable when applied between husband and wife, parent and child. But the wonder of friendship is its capacity to transcend age and gender, and to forge bonds stronger than blood.

1. What qualities do you value most in a friend, and why?

2. Read the proverbs above. Friend in English is flexible enough in its meaning to cover everything from a casual acquaintance to an intimate soul-mate. What type of friend is being described by the proverbs in this study?

3. Proverbs 17:17 suggests that we look to both friends and family members when we need help. In what situations would you be likely to turn to a friend instead of a relative for help?

4. Do you think friendship and family bonds are incompatible? Explain.

5. Proverbs 25:20 is a riddle. To solve it, imagine your physical reaction to being out in the cold without a coat. Now think of what happens when vinegar is poured on soda (go to the kitchen and try this if you don’t know). Are these physical reactions similar to one another or opposites? Explain.

6. When we act joyful in front of troubled people, Proverbs 25:20 says their reactions are like the soda or the chilled person. How would you describe those reactions in ordinary words?

7. If possible, recall a situation in which you either caused or experienced the reactions mentioned in Proverbs 25:20.

8. Our enemies do not actually kiss us, any more than our friends actually wreak damage on our bodies. Kisses and wounds are figures of speech. How would you paraphrase Proverbs 27:6 without using the words kisses, wounds or any other figurative language?

9. Describe a "kiss" you’ve received from an enemy and a "wound" you’ve received from a friend.

10. Proverbs 25:20 and 27:6 both speak of pain which one friend can bring to another. What is the difference between them?

11. Suppose you "wound" a friend in the sense of Proverbs 27:6. Is this the same as "repeating a matter" (Prov 17:9)? Why, or why not?

12. Ancient people knew, as we do, that only a harder material effectively sharpens a softer material. What happens when two objects of the same material sharpen one another?

13. Give an example from your own experience of how you and someone else sharpened one another.

14. How many friends (in the sense that the proverbs use the term) do you think you want? Explain.